Mytime

Thursday, January 19, 2006

Getting Angry

I'm going through a period in my life now where I'm coming to terms with the some of the issues that I've had with my parents and, unbeknowst to me, with my sister as well.

I'm told, all too often, that I keep in my feelings, you have to walk on eggshells around me, and that I never accept help. I've become very distant with my family, barely talking to them when we are around each other.

I think there have been a few things that have built on top of each other to get us where we are today, but my thought is that these issues could really have stemmed from diabetes (this has been weighing on my mind so much that I think I may have already talked about this in a previous blog). I was diagnosed at age 14, which in my mind is the age where you really become who you are. You are starting highschool and becoming an adult. The most frustrating thing to me is am I like this because this is just who I am or would I be a different (a better) person if I didn't have diabetes.

This has been a question on my mind for a long time. When I think back to my highschool years and having diabetes I don't remember getting angry, I remember it being easy. Until just the past couple of years I've always said diabetes hasn't had an effect on me. Turns out I think that it did impact my life greatly. Is this why starting in highschool I was very distant from my parents? Did I internally, unconsiuosly blame them? Since I wasn't getting angy about the disease I was I taking it out on them? Or was I just being a teenager?

Unrelated... I have my doctor's appointment tomorrow. I'm so nervous to get that look when I tell her that I didn't do my basal checks.... eek, if you are reading this, wish me luck.

3 Comments:

  • Glad to see that you are writing and updating your blog- I like the way you write :). Also, I find writing helps me deal with difficult emotions or situations, as well. It's a great way to express yourself.

    I can't imagine growing up with Diabetes. I was dx'ed @ 24. At first, I was very overwhelmed about it all...which is normal, I think. But as time has gone on, I find that it's become a little easier. However, saying that, I definitely have my moments where I struggle in more than one way. It does so much more than just affect you physically, it affects you on all different levels and that is difficult.

    I don't think I blame my parents for this disease, but sometimes I take out my frustration on them. I know that's not fair, but sometimes I feel like they aren't willing to give me the support I need, b/c I am an adult and should be able to handle this on my own. Any type of relationship can be tough, but when you throw Diabetes into the mix, well, things just get even harder.

    Have you tried discussing how you feel with them? I know it's not always easy to do this, but you might find that it helps more than you think. Try to be as open as possible and tell them how you feel. They won't know if you don't tell them. Then see how they respond... I think it's worth trying.

    As far as your appointment goes, I wish you a lot of luck. I'm sure things will be ok. Please do keep us posted, k?

    Good luck :)

    By Blogger Andrea, at 3:10 PM, January 23, 2006  

  • Coming to the end of my ability to surf. My last post is on your site. Surfing for hours looking for sites about random topics like cribbage, snails, diabetes supply, and whatever. Just bored.

    By Anonymous Samual, at 2:46 AM, January 24, 2006  

  • Hi there mytime79, I AM OUT SEARCHING FOR THE LATEST INFORMATION ON diabetes recipe and found your site.
    Although Getting Angry wasn't exactly, what I was looking for, it certainly got my attention and interest. I see row why I found your page when I was looking for diabetes recipe related information, and I am glad I stopped by even though this isn’t a perfect match.

    Fritz

    By Blogger NewsBlogger, at 4:51 AM, January 25, 2006  

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