It's after midnight...
I can't sleep!!!!!!!!!!! I figured I might as well do something and hopefully eventually I'll get so tired and pass out.
I took off work Friday and Monday so fortunately I'll have a short week, but it's probably going to be one of those hectic days tomorrow. This past weekend I went to my parent's county house. Yea, they have a house in the country, hence the name. It was actually really nice although I ran out of things to do real fast. There is only so much frisbee you can play with the dog... I read an entire book, laid out in the sun for a little, took a few naps...
Sort of random, but not so random question... do you think that the age one gets diagnosed w/ diabetes may have different effects on the relationships with people who are really close to you? I was diagnosed at age 14. When I think about it that is the year, age, that a person really starts to grow and starts to become the person they're going to be. I wonder how I'd be different if I were diagnosed earlier in my life or of course not at all. I also wonder if I'd have a better relationship w/ my parents. Right now, I have such a strained relationship w/ my parents, and I wonder if it's just because I am who I am or if the diabetes is one of the reasons why our relationship is so strained. My parents don't know me as a person who is fun, smiles and can have a conversation. They think I'm not a happy person and have no real opinions or feelings. This weekend really scared me because it became quite clear to me that there was a problem in our relationship. I really do think it has stemmed from my diabetes (at least on my end) and has grown out of control from there. I even feel uncomfortable testing or bolusing in front of them when I can do it fifty times a day in front of friends w/ no problems. I know my parents care about me and probably worry about me all the time and while I was living at home I never felt like I was being watched too much and I definitely was never told I couldn't do something because of the diabetes. One of my biggest fears is being judged and I know for a fact that, at least, my dad watches what I eat and forms opinions in his head. He's made comments before which have blown up into full-on arguments. Does anyone else have issues with parents or family members that they think is due to having diabetes? I don't want to super analyze myself, but I guess I'm hoping that the diabetes is to blame so that there maybe someway to fix the relationship.
I guess I'll continue on with my weekend... On Sunday night I went to Philly to visit my newly married friends. My friend Lauren and I went to a local bar and had a few beers. Lauren is one of my oldest friends and we know each other and our families so well that it's really good to have some of those deep conversations that you know you can only have with a select few. Oh yea, we tried to play a game of pool, but both sucked so bad that we gave up... today we woke up, you know one of the benefits of getting married is all the really really great cooking/baking stuff you get. Lauren made us some belgian waffles and the three of us got up to do a little exercise. I had my roller blads, Matt had his running feet and Lauren had her roller skates (I know, very weird). My friends live right near this awesome path where you can do all of the above, roller blade, run and roller skate on FLAT land. THAT IS MY HEAVEN! I seriously need to think about moving to Philly for this one reason. I'm obsessed w/ roller blading, but need to do so on FLAT land.
Sorry for all the babbling... I am getting a little tired... z.z.z.z.z.zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
I took off work Friday and Monday so fortunately I'll have a short week, but it's probably going to be one of those hectic days tomorrow. This past weekend I went to my parent's county house. Yea, they have a house in the country, hence the name. It was actually really nice although I ran out of things to do real fast. There is only so much frisbee you can play with the dog... I read an entire book, laid out in the sun for a little, took a few naps...
Sort of random, but not so random question... do you think that the age one gets diagnosed w/ diabetes may have different effects on the relationships with people who are really close to you? I was diagnosed at age 14. When I think about it that is the year, age, that a person really starts to grow and starts to become the person they're going to be. I wonder how I'd be different if I were diagnosed earlier in my life or of course not at all. I also wonder if I'd have a better relationship w/ my parents. Right now, I have such a strained relationship w/ my parents, and I wonder if it's just because I am who I am or if the diabetes is one of the reasons why our relationship is so strained. My parents don't know me as a person who is fun, smiles and can have a conversation. They think I'm not a happy person and have no real opinions or feelings. This weekend really scared me because it became quite clear to me that there was a problem in our relationship. I really do think it has stemmed from my diabetes (at least on my end) and has grown out of control from there. I even feel uncomfortable testing or bolusing in front of them when I can do it fifty times a day in front of friends w/ no problems. I know my parents care about me and probably worry about me all the time and while I was living at home I never felt like I was being watched too much and I definitely was never told I couldn't do something because of the diabetes. One of my biggest fears is being judged and I know for a fact that, at least, my dad watches what I eat and forms opinions in his head. He's made comments before which have blown up into full-on arguments. Does anyone else have issues with parents or family members that they think is due to having diabetes? I don't want to super analyze myself, but I guess I'm hoping that the diabetes is to blame so that there maybe someway to fix the relationship.
I guess I'll continue on with my weekend... On Sunday night I went to Philly to visit my newly married friends. My friend Lauren and I went to a local bar and had a few beers. Lauren is one of my oldest friends and we know each other and our families so well that it's really good to have some of those deep conversations that you know you can only have with a select few. Oh yea, we tried to play a game of pool, but both sucked so bad that we gave up... today we woke up, you know one of the benefits of getting married is all the really really great cooking/baking stuff you get. Lauren made us some belgian waffles and the three of us got up to do a little exercise. I had my roller blads, Matt had his running feet and Lauren had her roller skates (I know, very weird). My friends live right near this awesome path where you can do all of the above, roller blade, run and roller skate on FLAT land. THAT IS MY HEAVEN! I seriously need to think about moving to Philly for this one reason. I'm obsessed w/ roller blading, but need to do so on FLAT land.
Sorry for all the babbling... I am getting a little tired... z.z.z.z.z.zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
posted by Rachel Segall at
12:27 AM
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